The Self-Love Remedy

You have heard it before, "in order to truly love someone else, you must first learn to love yourself". What does it mean to love ourselves? Why is self-love so important? It's an easy thing to say to someone , "love yourself more and things will work out better," but it is a far harder thing to accomplish when you don't understand the true meaning of self-love.

"Self love is not conceit or vanity - it is the unconditional love and respect that you have for yourself that is so unwavering, so solid, that you only allow into your life situations and relationships - including the one with yourself - that reflect that same respect and unconditional love."

Self- love can not be bought in a store. It grows from actions that support your psychological, physical, and spiritual growth. When we take actions to improve our self-love we begin to find self acceptance in our weaknesses, pride in our strengths, a willingness to learn from our mistakes, and a confidence that keeps us from constantly belittling ourselves or letting others do so.

So how do we improve our self-love? I encourage you to try these steps listed below.Start with focusing on 1or 2 of the below, and then continue to try more.

1. Be aware. It is proven that those who have more self-love in their lives have a much better idea of what they think, what they want, and what they feel. That means that YOU are much more likely to NOT worry about what others think or want from you.
2. Focus on what you need, NOT on what you want. By focusing on what you need you are less likely to fall into bad habits of automatic behavior, which can get you in trouble...whether that is eating away your feelings or choosing the wrong mate.
3. Self-Care! In order to love yourself, you must first take care of yourself. Feeding yourself good nutritious foods, exercising, getting enough sleep, and spending time with positive people all aid in self-care.
4. Friend filter. Especially now in the age of Facebook, we are surrounded by hundreds of “so-called” friends. Unfortunately, with so many friends there are bound to be those that care little about your best interest or well being, and often there are those who feed off of your pain and loss instead of celebrating your happiness and success. Filter these people out of your life and you will find it easier to self-love.
5. Keep Boundaries. Learning to say no is often easier said then done. You are only one person and sometimes you may spread yourself too thin or put yourself in situations that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally or spiritually. Learning where your boundaries are and learning to say no to those depleting things is key to protecting yourself and self-loving.
6. Learn to forgive yourself. You are your worst critic, but it's important to remember that you are also human, and we as humans make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over it. Brush yourself off and try again.
7. Set goals and live with intention. When you visualize your intentions you are more likely to succeed in anything you chose. Set short term goals and then when you complete them, reward yourself and then set new ones. Visualize where you want to go, what you want to do, and what you see yourself being and doing. There is nothing impossible if you put positive visualization behind it.

Once you are able to incorporate all of these above tips, I encourage you to take note, not only the difference in yourself, but the difference in the people around you. Self-love is contagious. When you begin to take care of yourself, other will follow. They will begin to treat you better and begin to treat themselves better. What a wonderful ripple effect!